Therapy isn’t about life hacks. The best solutions are simpler – and more complex | Mental health

WPeople seek the chicken to treat – and I know that, because I was also a person looking for treatment – we often want strategies, techniques and tools for our tool boxes. We want to ask questions and know the answers; We want to ask questions and give answers. We believe these are the things we need to build a better life.

Now that you are patient with psychoanalysis, I am a dynamic psychiatrist who treats patients, I can see why the therapist needs to thwart this desire and provide the opposite. What I wanted is to manage myself from my feelings instead of feeling it, and hacking my life instead of living it – and this makes the shallow existence, not better.

The meaningful treatment helped me to understand that what I wanted is not what I need. My search for the correct answer, who is convinced that there is a correct way to do life, cannot keep me stuck. I now see that this strong treatment can provide something more valuable than strategies: a fertile environment in which the mind can grow, so that a new space can open between sensing an emotional experience inside you and having to get rid of it immediately. In this field, you can develop the ability to withstand something experienced in the past unbearable – this gives you time to feel, think and respond with the agency, instead of staying a slave to your reactions.

This can be a completely shift to our relationships, practical life, our dead and our self -esteem. It is not something we can try to do, it is not something that anyone can tell us how to do, it’s not something we can read in an article in a newspaper (even this, I am afraid). It is the result of a meaningful therapeutic relationship, and there is no abbreviation.

The truth is that all strategies, techniques and tools are present to find them if you want them. Rapid search on the Internet will serve more studies than you may want to read that the exercise is useful for your mental health; This mind can help manage stress (and there are many applications for that); And that if it makes you feel satisfied, you can buy the largest possible number of coloring books for adults, gratitude magazines and balanced blankets as you want (before you are concerned about all the things that time to get rid of again). You may or these things may not be useful, but it can make advice in this way that the person feels the worst, if what they really need is to address difficulties, anxiety, depressions and unconscious dynamics that steal them from the ability to enjoy good things in life.

Because the thing in building a better life is that at the same time incredibly complicated and simplely complicated. (One of the results of a good psychotherapy – and paternity – is to develop the ability to recognize and feel two opposed investigations at the same time.) In a treatment session, he may sighed almost imperfect movement or signing from the patient, when attention is directed towards themselves, and it opens to a wonderful family, and they need to adhere to the registration of the family, and their communication in childhood. life. Once these complex dynamics were dug, they were dug and understood, and the besieged feelings at home were allowed, then the cell door can be opened, as well as pain, anger, longing and other feelings, all kinds of beautiful simple things become possible. The amazing feeling of warm sunlight on your face. Colors in the David Hawkni painting. Delicious of Hobnob chocolate. The sound that provokes the heart of a small child laughing-or someone else. It is a pleasure to exchange a sign with a strange person who also went on a picnic in the garden. The joy of watching one of the greatest films of all time.

This leads me to my last points. We have to admit that a good treatment may be difficult to find (although there is a lot of information in BPC.org.uk). And if you live in an area where psychotherapy is in a gruesome, not available on NHS, or on the verge of cutting, this may be costly (although there are low plans available in Institute of Psychoanalysis and British Psychotherapy FoundationOther places as well). This type of treatment may not be useful for you at this moment. As I wrote earlier, good treatment takes time, and there are periods in our lives when that time is not available to us.

Fortunately, there is something else that can help. Below is the strategy, technology and the tool that I found is really working – answering almost any question.

He watches midnight.

And if you have already seen this wonderful comedy in the 1980s with Robert De Niro, Charles Grudine and Tafit Koto, watch it again.

And when I saw him, I am looking for another person who saw it – the largest value of the Internet may be in its facility to connect the people who saw midnight – and the exchange of quotes and your favorite viewers with them.

Then make a cup of tea, thoroughly chocolate and eat chocolate.

You’re welcome.

Moya Sarner is a psychologist in NHS and his author When greater – conversations with adults in search of adulthood