Question I am a woman in the early 1930s and about two years old, I moved from London and went home with my father when I found crushing the soul in the city: the expenses and rent are constantly rising and a feeling of survival only, I did not see him ending on the horizon. I do not think that it is not associated that I felt that my job did not reach unrealistic expectations for the availability of me and I did not admit it in return.
Now, I am working away from a job that I love well enough, which drives me more than ever In my life Relatively easy work, allowing me to save. I enjoy the existence of nature and enjoyment additional Time with my family and I am thinking about my next steps. But I find myself without desires, and there are no ideas about the place where I may live or what I see in my life seems. I still feel something not completely true.
I have a constant imagination to be tucked in a house in a forest, completely isolated, without interruption or responsibilities, no phone or internet. Decally, in this imagination, I feel satisfied and safe in my isolation. I imagine days full of comfort and peace: writing, meditation, reading, time in nature and cooking. All the things I like to do mostMost of them find time already in me. It is unrealistic, but I think he might tell me something about what I want. How can I decipher his symbols and learn what you tell me?
Philipa responses Perhaps you did not know the place where the course of your life is heading, but you discovered the place you don’t want to go to, and I feel that this imagination can escape from that. Can this feeling stem on something right from escaping instead of moving towards the dimension?
There is strength to estimate what you have now. Cultivation of gratitude does not deny the search for a deeper purpose, but rather puts you at the present time, which provides a sense of balance. It can remind you that although the future may be unclear, there are still sources of warmth and communication in your life; Small gifts that keep you nowadays. You also remember the feeling of unwillingness. Passion and clinging are what keeps us stuck in dissatisfaction cycles, and always chasing a long -standing thing. Lack of desire, then, should not be dark or indifferent. It can be freedom. Your vision of the ideal and peaceful life is not something that you reject, but it may indicate something else and this may be: peace is not about running to the forest and escaping from life, but you know that you are present with what is in front of you, wherever you are. Even in that ideal forest, she still faces challenges.
Does your isolated hut in the forest represent an invitation to explore something only comes from you, instead of external pressures? Or perhaps in the woods, do you feel that you can be who you are really instead of what it seems that society tells you that you should be? It is okay to be yourself, even among other things. Real connection occurs when we allow ourselves to see, rather than hiding behind a mask.
Another thing stands out in your words, not only in what you say, but in what you do not do. You describe your last job as if the role itself is to kidnap your attention and not to present anything in return, but the role does not do that: people do that. However, there is no mention of managers or colleagues, whoever puts these unrealistic demands on you. Now, you live with the family, but you do not say who they are, or what these relationships feel. There are no friendships, romantic ties, and social ties, as if you were moving in life without almost other people. This makes the imagination of complete isolation feel important, not only as a natural preference for isolation, but as something that may be rooted in the beliefs you have formed around others. Introphysicians often need isolation to recharge, but they also make meaningful friendships, love them, and build relationships.
Of course, it is good to want a quiet and independent life, but I wonder whether you may ask yourself kindly if your experience in people has formed beliefs that limit your life now rather than enrich it. Did you come to believe that communication is a burden more than the source of meaning? If so, do these beliefs serve you, or do they enhance the feeling of separation that you are fighting with?
Your vision may reflect the need to escape the weight of the responsibility that life brings inevitably. You may find condolences to imagine that it is free of all obligations, but we cannot escape the responsibility we bear towards ourselves, to find a life that resonates with our values.
Recommended reading: Winter: The power of comfort and retreat in difficult times Written by Catherine May and an early book for me, it is important here as well: How to remain rational.
Every week, Philippa Perry treats a personal problem that the reader has sent.
If you want to advice from Philippa, please send your problem to askphilippa@guardian.co.uk. The presentations are subject to us Conditions and terms
