My daughter gradually withdrew from family events. She lives away from all of us and does not return home anymore after she became a real bird. She did not visit for more than a year None of us saw Christmas or my birthdayAnd it is not like it.
When I visit it, it became clear She no longer chooses for herself – Even the simplest that her partner made while giving up everything he wants. He also feels jealous of any male family member talks about positive.
I was hoping that this picture is complete He did not discuss it at home, you are still thinking about how to deal with itBut a family member visited I noticed similar for a longer period. Worse, her partner was publicly encouraged by my daughter to think badly in her family.
It seems that she lost her feeling. It reminds me of a relationship with an abusive partner. I was several years agoWhich took me years to recover from. I feel isolated, but she wants the relationship to succeed so badly that she will do anything to make it happy.
I am unable to help herAnd very harm and sadness over it. Others in the family already feel isolated from it The strong links they had lost. I am worried about it. I don’t know what to do but just maintain its availability. If we are closed, which is afraid of it, it will be isolated more.
Home abuse, which is what you describe (especially in your long message, which you asked not to publish) is one of the most heinous crimes. The place where you should feel safe – the house – you are not. Watching a member of his family in such a relationship is torture. So I really feel you and your daughter. “To be available” is the right approach. I am sorry that you have also passed this, but it is also possible to remember that it takes a long time to realize that you are in a relationship with an abusive partner and leave it (and great care should be abandoned, as I explain later).
Your message to Irini Hadjyiano, the scientist of psychological treatments that were recorded in the National Consulting Association, which worked with women in abusive positions. Hadjiioannou says it appears to be a major topic. The daughter says she feels isolated from the family; you feel isolated from your daughter. You feel that the name is offensive as offensive or controlling isolation. But you comply with the idea that there is nothing meaningless, especially as she continues to communicate. “
Many people lack awareness of the forms of ill -treatment, such as forced control, so your daughter may not realize that she suffers from domestic abuse. Even if she does, talking about her will be difficult for her. Hadjiioannou says: “It is a place you cannot go yet. Huge and intense shock experiences, including remembering it. However, this does not mean that complete silence is the answer – especially since silence does not ignore all those concerned.”
Hadjiioannou suggests that you are trying to “respond to the effect of what your daughter is going through, instead of the details of the situation. By doing this, you can confirm your daughter’s experiences through her effect, while staying in contact with her.” So, if you come to you, saying it is tense or sad, you can try to say something like: “I can see this difficult for you, is there anything I can do to help?”
After promoting the newsletter
I was not sure of the place where your daughter lives, but it is important to remember that even if there is no physical abuse, forced control has now become a criminal crime throughout the United Kingdom. I must point out that if your daughter decides to leave, make sure that women In the danger of this turn.
It runs the charitable shelter a National home abuse aid lineWhich provides information and support.
“People who are under the control of behavior,” says Hadjiioannou, who remains with very limited reference tires on how to understand what is going on, what is normal, what is abusive behavior in the relationship, and how you feel about themselves personally. One of the things you can do is to tell your daughter what is loved about her, and she loves her and takes care of her, and what is her strength. “
If you know that you are there, whatever it is, when you will know where to go. The aggressors love to isolate their victims from family members. Don’t let.
Every week, Annalisa Barbieri deals with a personal problem sent by the reader. If you want to advise Annalisa, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. The submission is subject to Our conditions and our provisions. The latest series of Annalisa is available here.
Comments on this article are made in advance to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Please note that there may be a short delay in the comments that appear on the site.
