When I chose to become a single mother of my own will, there were things that I knew and things I had hoped for.
I knew things would be difficult. I didn’t know that anything in the process of having children would be a free gift or happen just for a whip. Everything will be coordinated, timing and accurately controlled – the scientific ballet dance for childbirth, which is performed by a fertility specialist and assisted by an unknown donor to sperm.
I knew that the process would be expensive. I live in Indiana where fertility insurance is not mandatory – I consult, and every survey, and every pill, and every blood clouds from my pocket – and with the high price of treatment, this also increases my salary. I knew that I would need to benefit from my savings, and start the additional work as an employee Uber Driver to help cover my medical costs.
I wished that the flag and my body would be a winning team, and that at the end of this great show there will be a beautiful child kicking and screaming in my arms.
What I did not know is that before I could really hope to have a beautiful child kicking and screaming, I had to do a lot of kicking and screaming myself first.
When I started trying to become pregnant for the first time, I was 38 years old. My primary fertility test was optimistic. The fertility specialist in Indiana recommended an attempt to start vaccination inside the uterus (IUI). This option was the least interfering, the least aggressive, and the least costly among fertility options, which is the most logical option as a starting point for me.
The first IUI procedure was a failure, as was the second, as well as the eighth. My fertility specialist has not been able to explain the reason why IVF did not work. I later learned that my ovarian backup is low – it is a fantastic word because I only have a very few eggs in my old cellar.
Angela Hatem
Indiana fertility specialist told me that it is time to become aggressive, it’s time to fertilize in the laboratory (IVF).
A file full of papers explaining the industrial vaccination process – brochures around high -interest IVF loans – have been delivered – and one pricing paper showing in detail the costs of one round of artificial insemination. The cost of treatment was $ 20,000 in addition to – medications would be an additional $ 12,000 – the child’s guarantee was zero.
I was crushed. I put my head on the table and cried. I cried because I was afraid and angry that my body was let me down, and that he was not doing what I thought was one of his basic functions, and that I needed a strong treatment to try to live the life I wanted. Badly.
Then I was angry. I feel angry because it is expected from me – and those like me – to pay thousands and thousands of dollars, without the help of insurance. The more I sat with my new folder, the more angry. Nobody chooses to be sterile – this is not something that anyone elects – and nothing wants anyone to be. Infertility is something that a person should be treated.
Fear, angry, angry, and I still hope to have the family I was communicating with – I went home and looked at Google for “IVF at reasonable prices”. During my research on the search results, I found a news story about a woman from Indiana’s state who traveled to a clinic in Serkios in New York called CNY Fertility.
She said that the treatment in a Chinese yuan was less than $ 4,000 – and she talked about her beautiful twin children – and with her story, she made me wonder whether the treatment and hope could live outside the backyard of my home.
After meeting the woman who appeared in the news story – consulting with other CNY patients – and doing more homework related homework, I have also become a CNY Fortility travel patient.
Being a travel patient does not only mean that you are from outside the city, but also make you an unsuccessful travel agent, a director of naval trips, a psychiatrist, and a nurse of a kind.
To prepare for my artificial insemination course – I had to find local laboratories that could perform blood withdrawals at any moment – I had to search for a center of photography that performs ultrasound on weekly and weekend holidays – I had to plan and predict travel from Indiana to Serakius during A time period without knowing a specific day – I had to work in advance in my job to make sure that I did not drop balls in the office while I was driving the car for a distance What place I can.
In addition to planning the process, I also had to get the dollars of IVF quickly. While the cost of the Chinese yuan therapy was much lower than my local clinic with light years, the treatment is still expensive. My side activity was a driver in Uber beneficial, but it was not enough. I applied to be a “Easter Rabbit” at the local mall – while I got the job – the schedule was not working well with my watch from 9 to 5 and Uber working hours.
In an effort to avoid any large debts on credit cards, I kept kick and screaming.
To bear the costs of treatment, I applied to obtain fertility grants and obtained it – and obtained a cash re -financing for my home – and benefited from one of the internal payment plans for the Chinese yuan. If there is a quarter of lying on the street, you are picked it up. I looked for anything and seized any opportunity that would help build my treatment and a travel egg.
It was a lot, but it was surprising that I did not feel exhausted, but I felt that I was aiming to achieve the goal. I felt as if I had finally had a small but strong opinion in the fate of my fertility. As a participant, not a spectator in my healthy sponsorship, I felt the ability to ask questions and question the treatment decisions – to ask about options, ask for help, and not to say that I am sorry to disturb someone when I was lost or confused about something medical or procedural. Something I should have done, but I have never done in my local clinic.
It took about three months to coordinate and savings, but I had my treatment money and my course plans were ready. It is time to start the first artificial vaccination cycle.
I say “The First IVF cycle” now – but at that time, I just said “my industrial vaccination cycle” – because I was sure it will be this. I will get treatment, and I will be pregnant, and I and my child and I will be a family.
But this is not at all how things went.
There was the first and then second artificial insemination cycle. There was no child. I underwent the harshest fertility treatments that anyone can undergo twice – and all I had at the end of each cycle is disappointment, anxiety, and deep sadness over all the things that could have been but never happened – and a small hope but it diminishes. I will become a mother.
When reality and acceptance began with my position, my design started throwing punches and fighting on the way back. For me, I was not ready to lie down and say I tried. This was not the line for me. I was determined to become a mother, through any possible way. I have now decided that once my fertility trip is over, I will continue to kick and scream about the reality of this process and what you do completely for the families and friends of those who are going through.
Thus I was – broken, determined, with bruises caused by injection on my stomach and arms and my brother – I am still afraid, angry, angry, and clinging to hope. I went to the CNY office for the third and final artificial vaccination cycle. This will be the last session that I can withstand its costs financially and emotionally before moving to the next.
My third cycle has always been as it was: the medicine, a very few eggs that must be extracted, a very small number of embryos that will be planted, and ten days of waiting to see if they are successful. I lived my life and tried to pretend that the fate of my life was not about to decide.
On the day of the pregnancy test, I went early to perform the blood clouds, then went back to the house and crawled to my bed to cry very much, and waiting for my results.
Two hours later, my phone rang, and that was the nurse’s line at CNY Hospital. I answered the phone. The nurse seemed optimistic, which does not usually seem as the nurses appear on the day of my results. The nurse asked me how I am. I told her that she had to tell me how I am. She said, “You have a HCG 137 ratio. You are pregnant.”
And I am writing this now – I am still crying and I still do not believe that this day and this life has already happened. I fight fertility and survivor – a CNY graduate – and most importantly, or proud of my five -year -old son White.
I know that I and my family were not to reach what we are today had it not been for the presence of the Chinese yuan – or had it not been for kicking and screaming in every step on the road.
I have learned in the post -treatment that kicking and screaming for me means that I have a testimony in communications, dust about it, and write about my experience and the experiences of others in fighting infertility. I hope that by sharing my experience, the required message reaches the place where it should be.
My story is not for everyone. There are people who read about me and my journey, rule, criticize, run their eyes, and hunt the steps I have taken towards motherhood. This story is not them
This is dedicated to women who look at a sea of fertility and needles, which you do not know any of them should be used – for a partner who does everything in his power but still does not feel enough – for the family who has just reached the maximum credit card to pay the next round of vaccination Artificial – for a father, friend, or one of the knowledge who knows a person who suffers from infertility and does not know what to do or how to help. This is for you.
Continue kicking and screaming – I hear you – and others do.
Angela Hatem was born and raised in Homestead, Florida. Hatem is a warrior in the field of artificial insemination, proud CNY A graduate of fertility and a single mother by choosing for her obsessed son White. Hatem is an independent shareholder in Parents, Health, Today Show, Business Insider, National Geographic, The Quill and more.
All views expressed are the author’s special views.
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