Should I stop having sex with my ex -husband? I recently separated from a wonderful person in bed, good in fun things, but not completely compatible with me as a partner. There was a lot of pain participating in this.
I am thinking of dating again, but I couldn’t stop having sex with this person – it’s the best sex I have never made, and we have agreed to be friends with benefits. Should I stop? Will it hinder my progress in moving to potential new partners? I have no desire to revive a deeper relationship, but I do not want to give up the fun parts that bring me a lot of pleasure and joy. I haven’t done anything like this before – unknown lands for me.
Elianor says: Many people will say that this is a governed endeavor, when Harry met Sally, that he “never works.” I don’t think this is true; I don’t think there is a global answer to the “must” question. But while working on the answer, there are some real dimensions that deserve attention.
First, you say this is the best sex in your life. yet. I don’t know how old you are, or (sorry), how “experienced”, so I don’t know if this indicates that it is the best sex of a box He is. How much do you think that electricity of this connection is due to facts about your ex -wife, which cannot be repeated, or facts about your relationship, which can? Like-Is this the first sexual contact “grown”, or the first time you can say what you like, or the first relationship without jealousy or hanging the body? If so, the fact that it goes beyond everything may not tell you that it is the absolute peak.
Second, I mentioned that this might make it difficult to find a new partner. It should be noted: It may make finding a new sexual chemistry as well. When lust, exploration, imagination and intimate relationship are transformed towards your ex -husband, there is less than these things to push you forward to new connections. When you appear in these new connections, it may be as a version of you who does not have much momentum to make sure the sex is fun, communicates, and consumes attention. There is a good way to transform bad sex and is to deal with it as an evaluation endeavor (Let’s see what they have) instead of a participatory one (let’s see what we can do).
In the period with a new partner when you don’t know each other, you may be ready to compare sex with them by practicing with your ex -wife. When this comparison occurs generally available instead of only memory, this may make it difficult to find a new chemistry – or make it with a new person.
Finally, you can repeat anything that led you to believe that this person is not yours. The dynamic is mutual creation – aspects of your characters come out things that you do not like. The presence of a romantic relationship can exacerbate these things, but there is usually not a large red key that once the relationship is turned off, parts of your characters that arouse each other disappear and you can immediately be great colleagues, or do a long journey on the road. The ways that each process disintegrates, distorting each other, the things they appreciate and the things you do not do – all these dynamics can still appear between you when the reaction is sexual. Just now, you don’t have to resort to a relationship if you want to work to fix these things. This danger may be worth it – but you may want to make sure you have some emotional shields.
If the goal of life must completely separate from this person, this will eventually mean in bed as well. Nothing about it means that you should stop sex now. The separation can be slow. Some of the intimacy you built lives for a long time after the relationship ends. But it is worth it exactly what the cost is, before you decide to pay it.
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