In my family, introvert-extrovert pairings are common. But I had to get to 36 to learn which one applied to me | Jessie Cole

I It was never identified as shy because my younger brother was the type of child who did not speak with strangers, and I – apparently – did not stop talking. The shame was comparative, and in my original family, there was always a shy person from me.

I did not notice my shyness until I separated from my first partner in the long run when I was 26 years old. My friend has been my friend since the age of fourteen, so-by the time we separated-nearly half of my life. This was her first friend, a rival, and he is always preparing to chat. He had a way to walk in a room and break a joke, so by the time he entered the back wind, everyone was already laughing. I paid the room and felt welcomed. I was never exaggerated without him, so I had no awareness of how to hold me under his wing.

In the aftermath of our division, I became aware of how difficult I found certain aspects of socialization. Simple things like how to enter and get out of a room. Beginnings and endings: How to start chatting and how to finish one. How to mix in a crowd of people. The ends or gatherings of any kind are suddenly fraught.

I always assumed that my previous partner was simply friendly However, in 2013, after a decade of division, I read Susan Caen, quiet: the power of introverted people in a world that cannot stop speaking And he realized that it was Open I was introvert. According to Cain, shame and introverted are often intersecting but not the same.

Exclusive and introverted are found along the spectrum, but it is often seen on the features that we are born instead of development. It seemed strange that I had to reach 36 to find out this about myself. I have done my individual Chattines as distraction. In fact, I found the most overwhelming groups and need a lot of time alone to recharge. Like shyness, I took my obvious introverted time to become clear to me.

My granddaughter to this hard world came to the extent that its existence was impossible to miss it. Even before she was mobile, she was throwing her arms in welcoming and pleasing with a visiting scene. Everything is shown, everything is shared. It is so friendly in public places that I often face my shyness when I carry it. When she started talking, she would be transferred to someone on the waiting list forward and says – “I am shy” – but what I meant was, I would like to communicate with this person and I am not sure how.

Darling conversations with strangers is not for me, but she seemed to want to help me. It was not yet two, but it was already pushing me from my comfort zone. One day, while I was dealing with her along the main street of Baladi, an unknown woman invited, “Hey, party girl!” It was clear that this was not directed at me and had to laugh. My granddaughter’s social networks were larger than me networks and were still in diapers.

What is the shy person to do such a run?

My older son, her father, was the same. Throughout his life, I saw him investigating a small conversation with strangers. When he was in adolescence, chats will start with the elderly when going out, and spying dogs in their carts and asks about the type of dogs they have. Often, they were preparing at first – this friendliness was repulsed with his teenage clothes – but a few minutes will be smiling. When he was young, before I read Cain’s book, I tried to force him to rest in any days of catching a social networking type that left me drained. He never seemed to need it, but I did.

In these home days, all its fictional “parties” included. I found it confused. Asked why you were always very tired. When the second birth of the accident came, dreamy and internal, he was completely logical. He cried when I brought it out in the world, all this sound and overwhelming color. It is located inside, staying close. As a small child, his favorite game was to mudget on the sofa. Our needs in the perfect synchronization.

In my family, common logical wives are common. Each of my children has been associated with opposites. Now I understand the terms, everything looks very clear! “I hate bathing, it’s very boring!” She realized that she was the only time she spent on her own. I watch them all move their different needs: the deceased enjoy reciting calm, and the open people who want chats in the bathroom.

My granddaughter is now only two, but it can talk about a storm. I was outside her a few weeks and hit a friend who had not seen him for years. I was immediately embarrassing, but my granddaughter came to help me. “You have a blue dress!” She said to my friend, “My son is pink!” The ice was broken. It was the beginning. I was holding my granddaughter on the hip joint, but it made me under her wing.

My younger son and his partner has a fifteen -week -old child. A new granddaughter! To date, it is expressive and smile. He gave birth to my older son’s partner last week. grandson! In this genetic lottery, I wonder what we’re going to. The introverted people who will lecture on the sofa, or openness who will help us in forming new friendships. I can’t wait to see!

• Jesse Cole He is the author of four books, including the memoranda of survival and desire, and it is an account