I am an old warrior with post -traumatic disorder, depression, anxiety and marital dispute. The Ministry of Veterans Pay the Old Warriors Affairs to see a processor. In my last session, I shared with my treatment that I was dreaming about it. I did not share any details about the dream, and I did not say or suggest that I be crushed. (Me, no.)
Dawn the therapist in my face, saying that this is something that you should not bring to the therapist. The next day, I felt bad about the accident in which I wrote the processor and apologized. I told her that I felt embarrassed and I will not share anything like this again. She did not respond.
Two days later, I received a phone call from her receptionist telling me that my processor was ending with me.
For the record, the therapist has never told me that any topic was outside the borders. In fact, she told me that the treatment was a safe place to exchange any problems that you wanted to put. I remember to ask her, “Can I tell you anything?” She said, “Yes, anything.”
I feel confused and abandoned. She was the only person I could share with anything and do not feel judged. This is the way many veterinarians feel if we share anything terrible we did or fail to do it during active service. I don’t think I will trust a processor again.
I feel lost, alone and harm. Can you provide any guidance?
From the processor:
I am very sorry because this happened to you, because you did nothing wrong at all. Instead, your therapist leaves you in a very annoying dilemma. The processor should really create a safe space, and it is destroyed when confidence is broken in the processor. What is his experience – especially after the participation of a personal thing accurately – not only painful, but also destabilizing.
In treatment, you have every right to put a dream – even if it is related to your therapist and even if it is sexual – and that you trust that the therapist will deal with everything you bring in those conversations with skill, sympathy and professional competence. Before I suggest how to move in this violation, I think it might help you understand how this detection should have been dealt with.
When people go to treatment, dynamic usually appears – transportation and control. The transition occurs when patients direct feelings related to a person in their lives on the therapist. For example, if you have a problematic relationship with a family member who feels control, you can transfer feelings of your processor control whenever you suggest intervention to try it.
These feelings can range from anger to love, and romantic or exciting transition can occur when the therapist mentions a romantic partner or a former love object, or when the previous need is met by the processor: unconditional acceptance, a safe environment, an intimate intimate relationship, a feeling of value, value or reserve. Dreams are often the way the subconscious is to address complex feelings, and the transition may be very useful if the patient helps the patient to determine this process as a way to gain an insight into the basic feelings.
But it seems that something is involved in the processor’s ability to do so. In training, therapists learn to identify their feelings of transition towards the patient – what is known as anti -transfers. The therapist whose patient mentions her with her impossible mother may begin to feel unable and start discontent with this patient. Or the therapist may determine more than the identity of the patient who is struggling through a case similar to the one that the doctor treats in the past (divorce, and alcoholic father), and he becomes unable to separate the patient’s feelings and experiences from the therapist.
As with the transition, the counter -transport should be shed and processed. But while the transition is discussed in the treatment session, therapists treat counter -transfers by receiving reactions from other doctors (or their therapist) to avoid distorting the work they do to help their patients.
We have a saying in treatment: If it is hysterical, it is historical. In general when people have severe reactions, there is some date of play. It seems that your therapist had a strong emotional reaction to your dream, but he did not explore enough. You have made your dream the issue, rather than understanding its problematic feelings about your dream. By doing this, violated the sanctity of the relationship between the doctor and the patient by stoking and then abandoning you, causing pain, and preventing you from treating this annoying experience and leaving you without closing or continuing care.
The sudden withdrawal of your treatment strengthens the fear of the fear that manages post -traumatic disorder, depression, anxiety, or a trauma experience: this weakness leads to abandonment.
But this experience, although it is very painful, does not mean that you should completely abandon treatment. You deserve the therapist who will walk next to you and give you a room to address everything you have gone through, without a ruling or fear of giving up. You have shook your therapist’s behavior the basis of your confidence, but I think you can rebuild it with a correct support from a different doctor.
You can start sharing your experience with the appropriate mental health resource coordinator, which can discuss your options on how to deal with the situation with your previous processor (for example, by submitting a complaint so that other patients do not have to withstand something similar) and provide you with referrals to a new processor that has been completely examined.
Meeting two or three of the therapists by requesting a consultation before starting treatment, and telling each of them what happened to you and the effect that you have – that you are sad about the loss of the relationship you have, and you feel betrayal by someone you trust, and hesitated to open up to the therapist again and seek to help you move forward from the experience of this experience and healing that brought you to treatment in the first place. See how each processor responds, and notice with who you feel comfortable.
Finally, I want you to know that you are not alone. Although it may feel this way today, there are people who understand layers what you have passed and will be there to support you.
Want to ask the processor? If you have a question, send an email Askthetherapist@nytimes.com. By submitting inquiries, you agree on Conditions for presenting the reader. This column is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
