Is there anything more frustrated than others?
Although our best to persuade them to do this, for example, and we want, they continue to raise our plans by making their own decisions, being their people and thinking about their ideas.
One can waste hours that rise around others’ behavior. Why did we not include this meeting at work? Why this stranger has been cut off in traffic? Why is this friend still with her boyfriend even though he is absorbed?
Enter: Leave them theory.
Someone cut you? Let them. Your friend is still with their lame friend? Let them. Every time you are about to start obsessing the behavior of another person, remember: Let them!
This concept was recently circulated by the motivational spokesman and Juru Robbins, the teacher for self -assistance. “I have just heard about this thing that is called the theory of let them,” she told millions of followers in Instagram post In May 2023, “I love it.”
Soon the viral video went. the people Ownership “Leave them” Tattoo. In December 2024, Robbins released a book, The Let Let Learn. The best -selling books in the New York Times. CNN and New York Times Interview with Robbins. Opera talked about this Podcast for herHe said: “This book is the change of the game. It is a changing life.”
There are some important warnings of the theory, according to Robbins. First, she says, “Let them” work only if he follows him, “Let me.” In other words, it is not an excuse for clotting. Accepting that we cannot control the actions of others is a reminder that we are completely responsible for our region. You are not responsible for someone to cut off your traffic, but you are responsible for not stirring it and screaming the ghosts from the window.
Also, there are certain situations in which you should not, under any circumstance, “let them”. Robbins explained in a Podcast episode The theory does not apply if someone wants to do something dangerous or if you see someone who is discriminatory. In these cases, you say, you should speak. Second, you should always defend yourself and what you need – negotiate a higher salary, or insist on obtaining the medical care you need. Finally, if someone is constantly violating your borders, you should not “allow them” to do so, says Robbins.
The concept of “let them” is not without its critics. People argue that the theory Restore the hallway. Others criticize Robbins for the lack of credit for the poet Cassi B Phillips, whose poem allowed them to the virus in 2022.
(When I sent an email to Robbins to comment on the Philips poem, she replied: “Let Let the theory has its roots in Buddhism, Rutik, Al -Safa prayer, and the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior (his son gives a quotation in the book that he) and therapeutic methods such as the theory of separation and radical acceptance ! Let them call me Very strong – it is a familiar feeling for everyone because it is. “))
And some believe it is simply Very clear Flimsy is an idea to keep an entire book.
Robbins herself admits this. The New York Times also told: “Yes, it is a cheap trick – and It works. “
Robbins, author, PodCaster and a former lawyer, is not a mental health specialist. But experts agree that giving up trying to control the behavior of others and their actions can be very useful – not only for yourself, but for the people around you as well.
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“The behavior of others is merely a reflection of their journey,” says Dr. Czech Davis, founder of the Berkeley Welfare Institute. “When we no longer feel the need to” correct “or” save “others, we can easily accept them.”
Some mental health professionals have also found that the theory of Letth People helps people understand more difficult concepts. Celine Bourley, a licensed processor in California, says she has shared theory with many of her customers. “The eye has been opened for them,” she says.
Bourley says it was especially useful for those who struggle with healthy limits. “You let them claim a mentality to simplify it in a way that you feel friendly and empowering,” she says. “It converts to focus from controlling others or fixing it to accepting what is within your control – your reactions, focus, and peace.”
Bourley adds that she used the mantra in her life, as a reminder of allowing her children to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. “Let them know things alone is difficult, but it is very good for them and to get it,” she says.
Like many, the LetTh HEM theory came across social media. The idea seemed useful, although I already imagined myself at the border. Live and let us live. Not my monkeys, not a circus, etc.
Then I realized how many times I found myself thinking: “Let them.” When two heads of heads, it took everything to interfering and soften things. “Let them”, I thought, every muscle in my body is anxious. After an argument with a member of his family, he drew on the walking device for an hour, borne the jaw, and he stated mentally: “Leave them.”
The phrase was not a medicine. It still takes some time for any emotion I felt passed. But their saying “let them” prevented me from interacting. He gave me a space to stop and remember myself that my actions are everything I can control. annoying! But also edit. When you don’t waste time trying to think about how to control others, you have more time to think about other things, such as books or pants.
Bourley says that “let them” is a tip that you wish you would have heard soon. “It is a reminder that there is nothing wrong with retreating, and allowing people to be those who are, and stop carrying things that you do not bear.”
