Melody Beattie, Author of a Self-Help Best Seller, Dies at 76

Melody Betty,, Whose experiences as a drug addict, a chemical dependency consultant and an alcoholic wife, a selling book on coding that led countless people to get rid of toxic relations, on February 27 in the Los Veles neighborhood of Los Angeles. It was 76.

Her daughter, Nicole Betty, said the reason is heart failure. She had been transferred to the hospital from November 30 to December 12, then she was made from her home in Malibu due to a huge fire and moved to her daughter’s house, where she died.

By circulating the concept of coding, Mrs. Betty (Speech) has become a literary star in the world of self -assistance with “No more than that: how to stop controlling others and caring for the stars for yourself” (1986), who sold more than seven million copies around the world.

“You can call her the mother of this type of self -assistance,” said Nicole Dewey, publishing director at Spiegel & Grau, who has sold more than 400,000 copies of the book since it took over in 2022.

Trysh Travis, author of the book “The Language of the Heart: a Cultural Tistory of the Recovery Movement from Unknown alcoholic addicts to Oprah Winfrey” (2009), said in an interview that “no more” has succeeded because of Mrs. Passatical and “General Magic”.

She added: “There were other books and brochures published in the recovery area in the early eighties. Melody presented the same arguments, but her voice came very clearly. It was not clinical – and she had a set of ideas that could be applied to many problems if not all one faced – and hit the market in time.”

In “No More than that”, Mrs. Betty cited different definitions of the coding person. It also presented one of them.

She wrote: “A certified person,” is the person who left the behavior of another person who affects them and who is obsessed with controlling the behavior of the other person. “

And she wrote that the other person may be a family member, a lover, agent, or best friend. But the concentration of coding “lies in ourselves, in the ways that we allowed the behavior of others, affects us, and in the ways we try to influence them” – through the procedures that include controlling them and helping them in an obsession.

Mrs. Betty remembered that her difficult marriage to her second husband, David Betty, who was also a drug abuse consultant, described an accident when he was in Las Vegas. I called him phone in his room at the hotel, and it seemed as if he was drinking. I appealed to him not to break his promise to her that he would not drink on this trip. She commented on her.

In a state of despair, I called the hotel again and again at night, even when she was preparing to host a party for 80 people at their home in Minneapolis the next day.

“I thought if I could just be He speaks She told the Menabolis Star Star Tribune in 1988, but at 11 pm, she stopped calling.

She said: “Something happened inside me, and I left it.” “I thought,” if you want to drink, drink. … ‘I returned his life to him, and started taking my back. “

She said this is the first step in separating itself from her mutual coding. They finally divorced.

I wrote that the separation is: “It is not a cold, hostile withdrawal” or “Polianich’s grace, ignorant”; Instead, “a person or a problem with love” is launched.

When should the version happen? I asked. Its list was long. It started: “When we cannot stop thinking, talking, or anxiety about someone or something, when our emotions abandon and boil. When we feel that we have to do something about someone because we cannot bear another minute. …”

Melody Lynn Villancort was born on May 26, 1948, in Ramsay, Minnesota, and ranked mainly in Saint -Paul. Her father, Jean, was a firefighter, addicted to alcohol, left the family when Melody was in a second. Her mother, Easita (Lee) Villankort, had a nursing house after her divorce, but Mrs. Betty said, she won her four siblings. (She escaped from the same punishment, as she said, because she suffers from a state of heart.)

The melody was harassed by a stranger when she was five years old; I started drinking whiskey in 12; It began to use amphetamines, barbiturates, LSD and marijuana in high school. By 20, she was shot at heroin. Pharmacies were also robbed with a partner, and after their arrest, she spent eight months in the treatment of drugs at a government hospital.

After successfully treated, she filed secretarial jobs before she was appointed as a chemical advisor in Minneapolis, who was appointed to treat men’s wives in treatment. Her patients were angry in a uniform and focused a lot on the feelings of their husbands to the point that she found almost impossible to make them cross through them.

“After eight years, I understood these arms, and these crazy viewers – we did not call them that we,” others ” – because I became one” through her marriage to Mr. Betty, said to the newspaper “Star Tribune”. “All I can think about and talk about is an alcohol addict, what he was doing or not doing.” She said: “She was full of anger and anger because he would not stop drinking.”

While dealing with women, living in social welfare and writing independent articles for a local paper, which is a Stelooter Gazette company, it conducted an interview with experts in Codependence, hoping to write a book on this topic.

She has received $ 500 from the publishing department at the Hasden Drug Record Center, which is now called the Hazlin Petty Ford Foundation. The book was published in 1986 and spent 129 weeks on the New York Times advice list and the guidance list.

Mrs. Betty continued to write many other books, including “The Language Language: Daily Reflections on Coding” (1990), which sold more than three million copies.

Writing in Newsweek in 2009, Dr. Drew Bensky, addiction medicine specialist and media personality, called “No More” is one of the four best self -helping books ever. Mrs. Betty has reviewed her greatly for a new edition published in 2022.

In addition to her daughter, Mrs. Betty has survived two grandson. Sister, Michelle Villankurt; And son, John Thorik, from her first marriage, to Stephen Thorik, who ended in divorce. John grew up by his father and the grandmother of the mother.

Her marriage to Scott Mengchol and Dallas Taylor, Those who played drums with Crossby, Lasuf, Nash & Young, also ended in divorce.

Her son, Shin Betty, died in a skiing accident in 1991 when he was 12 years old, as she drowned her sadness. “Love Lessons: Re-discovering our passion for life when it seems very difficult to take it” (1995)-a personal book, not evidence of self-help-to describe her journey from a broken spirit to healing.

Her first step was to write two letters, one of which said:

“Oh my God, I am still angry, and I was not happy at all. But with this message, I adhere to a restriction or condition to life, and to be here and be alive as long as I am here, whether it is another 10 or 30 years of other years. Regardless of any other human being and their presence in my life, and regardless of the events that may pass. This commitment is between me and life and you are.”