My secret life as a model: ‘High fashion loved me most when I was visibly bony’ | Fashion industry

‘sHe was sitting on the kitchen table, eating raw cauliflower. For dinner. It is September 2024 in London, my friend reflects her time in sharing an apartment with her colleagues in Paris in the previous year.

I knew, because I became a 21-year-old model-very recent, according to industry standards-I went in many London offers, as well as equipment, display halls, campaigns, editing, books, and e-commerce trade like brands such as Moncler, Lacoste and Toni & Guy. Since I started, I tried to build a thick skin to protect myself from rejection from compass and call income, as well as a slim body standard everywhere. But when it is chosen to show some, there is always the primary fear that I may have taken it away – I lost a great weight again. Because a huge percentage of models is, as it was always, very thin.

I discovered on foot via Covent Garden in 2021, after graduating from Warwick University. She appeared for the first time at the Later London Fashion Week, at the Victoria Beckham Show.

The term “baptism of fire” does not start covering it. I just made fast walking in my agency, and I didn’t expect anything from my first pouring. Within two hours, I was immediately booked for three days of equipment in a room full of designers, creative directors, sewers and photographers, all of whom work on the energy of the Fashion Week. In the period before the offer, I was working for 13 hours.

My cake directed me towards a high -end fashion market, so I moved to Milan for a month, then I went back to my city in Paris, to follow my career more seriously.

Over the past two years in the fashion industry, my weight has turned a lot, but I have always been, according to non -fashion standards, skinny. Even in the largest, I was smaller than UK 8. The high fashion liked me more than others at best, when I was clearly bone (I clearly had a problem body mass index). During my first season, I heard a famous designer talking about me (it is normal to talk about while you are in the room). “It is very thin so that it cannot be used in the width, but it is ideal for equipment,” she said, and it expresses what I came to is the basic industry talisman: the slim appearance is still very valuable – you cannot clarify that.

When I reached what was considered a healthy size, it was the hips that became Achilles heel – and I was out of sweating. During the high -end fashion week, I could not contain a wedding dress – the most prominent in the collection – on the hips. The garment was quickly transferred and delivered to a 17 -year -old model, who did not fight the narrow fabric. The paradox? Couture – and estimated – for women with very large bank balances, not girls.

For models, the conversation about weight and diet is common. It is an indifferent, informal theme, which appears easily like the weather. It is not a matter of sharing diet advice, but rather the stories about bad pouring, or a comment about candy over the time because the fashion week is not far away. One of the styles narrated that it had cut all sugar, carbohydrates, and unwanted food and exercise extensively for three months before the performances. Other models asked me about what my leaders are, followed by an encouragement: “It should be fine, don’t worry.” When modeling started, I am surprised by that, the common reality of living with pressure to be a certain size. I knew that I shared the same ideas and fears – and never missed the gym throughout the week.

I think it is fair to say that the models do not intentionally or sustain the desire for a certain physical fitness; Instead, they comply with the “standard of industry”, knowing that it is an element of success, or at least work insurance. This industrial standard varies, but it tends to be about 34-24-34in (permitted gaze), or equivalent to the size of the dress 6. The need to be a specific size to reserve jobs that can lead to the direction of the behavior of the models.

IN 2023, I was in Madrid a job. After lunch – 4 pm Macha – A model girlfriend said she was not hungry for dinner. In any other circumstances, its behavior was a cause of anxiety. But here, there was no feeling that it might be judged to skip a meal, and certainly not before me – I have a complex relationship with food.

The measurements remain a very real component in the Fashion Week; An updated bikini images are still required by potential customers. It differs slightly after another. London is exposed to more than a variety of models in waiting lists – from size 2 to size 18. But it is not possible to say the same about Paris, and even less than Milan, where it was recorded every time I go to my agent. I spent hours in the waiting lists, which consist of exclusive high models, to be measured at the door and asked her to put an unforgettable rear claim to ensure that nothing is hidden behind the fabric. Each curve and dipping your body is evaluated.

However, there is a new novel with its roots in late 2010, when Ashley Graham was on the cover of Vogue and Corwalks that offered excess bodies for the first time. In 2023, Paloma Elser won the year model, with a highlight of clear acceptance and the rise of excess size models. The new narration told us that strict measurements are highly accurate, the speech of the negative body image and incompleteness is no longer a fashion problem. It looks like progress, it is simply incorrect. She says everything is that Elsesser, which was the only curved model in the collection of candidates, has faced an immediate violent reaction about her weight on social media.

From my experience, the general celebration of the comprehensiveness of the body feels performance. Regardless of the number of offers that use excess models, or the number of times that magazines use larger models, the ideal slim body remains always present. Drafting may be more sensitive – it is no longer related to “size 0” – and some symbolic moments have made it look like things, but the slim Orthodoxy is still dominant, and perhaps increasingly.

The media in the fashion industry has noticed a significant decrease in the diversity of the body in modern shows. Notice Vogue Business This excessive representation represents only 0.3 % of the appearance in autumn/winter shows 2025, with 97.7 % of the “straight size” models, the term industry for the skinny base-equivalent to the size of the 4 or XS dress in the United Kingdom. This matches what I noticed in the waiting lists last season.

The shift towards smaller silhouettes extended beyond the platform models to the front row, coinciding with the high medications that lose weight and indicate a broader cultural shift to thinness.

Comment sections on Tiktok videos are now on the border on the obsession when it comes to losing celebrity weight; The evil press tour overwhelmed remarks about the slim silhouette. Such a widespread anger in what is a profound personal subject reveals the hypocrisy surrounding women’s bodies. What women are required to embody “health” that aims to have a high fashion body that spoils society? Both the main stars of Wicked, Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, look at the same size as many models that you worked with. There is a blind, high-fashioned spot that allows intense thinness without challenge, while the rest of society-even within the borders of Hollywood-is held according to different criteria.

Tiktok scrolling reveals a set of negative experiences of models that correspond to this type, with Bentley Mescall, for example, Exposing the scene in New York. she Publications of footage of the messages from its agent“The bread must go, the rice must go, the pasta should go – this option you do.” Her experience is no exception. The deep reality remains deep in the world of modeling, whatever the alleged revolution of its size.

On a month for a month to Greece to Greece last summer, our agent told my colleague and colleague in the model that she would get more reservations if you lost a few centimeters of hips. In Milan last year, he was a shy friend in a room full of agents to give him a little bit during the summer vacation. She was sent to the house after a Milan -based Milan agency, which she caught and shaken. A similar experience occurred in Japan, where the model was reserved for a ticket house immediately. Each accident has occurred during the past two years, and for what it deserves, all of these women are about 6.

To repeat, the problem lies in the industry, not models. Most models of professional, kind and rusk individuals. Most of us are naturally skinny and do not follow a raw brick diet.

“Stop encouraging models to adopt harmful behaviors and pressure them to suit your ideal in the body,” says Tom Quinn, director of Beat Feat, who urges them to “stop encouraging models to adopt harmful behaviors and pressure them to suit your example in the body.” He says that the appearance of a person should not be given priority for his mental and physical well -being.

Fortunately for me, the London -based agency that I was with since I started anxiety from my care, even encouraged me to gain weight when I was excessively thin. But they are in a difficult situation: they must ensure that the models are not valid, but they must also satisfy customers and reserve their talents. The fact is that the brands of fashion, especially high -end brands, require this type of body.

Somewhere, amid intense demands and the inclination of performance in the industry, there may be a medium floor that the agencies do not have to protect the models from toxic requirements, or to force them to comply. Some brands have shown a real desire to employ health models. The Vogue Business report referred to ESter Manas, Rick Owens, Sunnei, Boss and Bach Mai as some of the fashion houses that promote a more comprehensive squad last season.

I also remember how happy the editor of the French magazine saw me “a complete shape” (size 8) after I previously worked with them. She told me that she does not like to work with Super-Skinny models, and that she did not feel right. You meet people inside the industry who sympathize with the strict requirements that we must adhere to and sustain; It is just the issue of normalizing this anxiety at the broader industry level.

I return to the era of modeling in the nineties with envy. I grew up, I remember that I was captured by Cindy Crowford, who said The size was 10 normal For models at that time. It is worth noting that you find one model 10 in most casting lists in the past decade.

Despite all this, I will continue to work in a high way. This profession, despite its challenges, gave me amazing experiences and friendships. My path has strengthened the ties and cultivated flexibility. But the industry has a long way. Add a few winding models to the platform paths almost not enough. I yearn for a day when the hips are suitable, and many different women are different, with high-end fashion dresses-for models, but also young women everywhere.

In the United Kingdom, Defeat It can be contacted on 0808-801-0677. In the United States, help is available in Nationalatingdisorders.org Or by calling Heat Hot eating disorders at 800-375-7767. In Australia Butterfly In 1800 33 4673. Other International Aid Lines can be found in Eating disorder hopes