As the taxi approaches the house of the remote lake area, where I will spend a week to make a silent Buddhist retreat, I was shocked by Zain.
You should be outside your little mind.
The issue of decline was “we appreciate your life” and guarantee the spending of most of the day in silence: the height at 5.40 am to start Zazin (Meditation)) And the completion is not until 8 am; Eat a silent breakfast with 20 people participating in this madness. After breakfast, spend 45 minutes in washing, then 90 minutes Samo (Work): Cut the vegetables, exfoliate and exfoliate them as a preparation for the rest of the meals today.
I have briefly thought about the taxi to wrap. But the previous processor, Mano BazanoZen priest, invited me to join him in the retreat, which he was leading. The two had talks about Zen published on my country Alternative Pages, but I did not dive into walking, if it is permissible to speak – I only talked about speaking. I didn’t want Mano to think I was afraid of his profession. So I accepted, but not because I was taking into account a certain result (although I was definitely curious about Zain). I went because of Manu himself. With his head head, warm, broad smile, and always entertaining eyes, it has a type of magnetic that can get you out of your comfort area.
Since participating in the decline, I started suffering from painful seizures of depression, which I could not determine the trigger for. Therefore, as it became clear, what started as a simple curiosity has ended with a more urgent goal-to get out of my low mood and stop the cycle of self-impairment.
Depression affects your Cognitive abilities. It has difficulty obtaining the aspects of the rituals for the correct decline. There was a lot of bowing, recitation of chants and ritual offer, as well as gratitude prayers for each meal we sat at. I couldn’t get the kneeling correctly. There were many of them – to your pillow, to the altar, to each other, for the teacher – and I could not remember whoever bends and when. Also, after each session of meditation-there were six sessions half an hour a day-we were directed to walk very slowly throughout the room, then very quickly, always as one body. I became patience in the fast part and began to try to impose the pace of running, which was gently reprimanded. It was very high. I know this because the man adjacent to me told me that, several times.
During the long hours of meditation, I secretly studied at the base for those on the corresponding pillows; I felt there was a lot of pain in the room. Silence was suspended during the afternoon Darma conversations (Darma She is simply the teachings of Buddha), where Manu told the stories of Buddhist monk, Dogin, who traveled from Japan to China to get to know Zain. Dugin founded the Soto Schooland A copy of Buddhism, which can be a very internal doctrine. Dogen insisted that household chores and normal life were important like Zazin, and from here Samo.
After that, share our own stories. People often fell into crying while talking about the shocks that attracted them to retreat. One of them complained about his own arrogance, and the last of the guilt he felt about the way his children grew up. Another still talked about how he hated the bowing part of retreat, because he felt that he made him subject.
After our silent lunch, we went in collective aspects, where we were allowed to speak. There was a mixture of both men and women, and many of them are less than 30, with many professionals, including lawyers, civil service and healers. I was subjected to dilution of daily walking due to the fact that I was separate from the group and lost – a suitable metaphor for my mental state. On the first two occasions, this was simply embarrassing, but on the third day, along with a man and a woman, both of them from my age (late 1960s), we separated from the group while walking to a local lake. Darkness was the fog coming. We could have joined the group, but the man-a former man, as it turned out, in addition to a seasoned Hilleker-announced that he knew the way.
After twenty minutes, darkness and fog come quickly, we seemed completely lost. We were stuck on the difficult terrain. The woman remained falling and looked at the risk of breaking the ankle. At this stage, I realized what you were to achieve a situation of Zen Calm, at least from the Investive who was coming out of my mouth aimed at our explorer.
With about 30 minutes of daylight remaining (we had no flares or a sign on our phones), our guide stumbled through a path, which eventually led to safety. By the time we went back to Zindo (Meditation Hall) I calmed down, ready to practice Poto, Originally a foreground dance focuses on existential despair. Before retreat, I saw a YouTube video on Potoh, in which a naked man covered with white chalk performed a series of painful distortions. After trying to despair over Moroccans, I felt the vitality of this practice.
The Manu version was less dramatic. We were simply asked to walk from one side from Zando to the other, very slowly, in pairs. One of us was the observer, and the other participated. We were invited to imagine a rope across the middle of our bodies that we were exposed to. The observer was then asked to touch the participant in different parts of the body while they walked. The participant had to interact, in any way they felt in good health. This usually involves the deformities and embarrassing situations that sometimes sent people to be determined to appear. Whenever I am affected by my partner, the limbs of my country are twisted and in all directions.
Butoh was repeated the next day, as we were asked to walk in small steps towards the other half (which was noticed, as an audience). Then we walked back, very slowly. When we retreated, we were asked to imagine the past spreading in front of us and the future is hidden behind us. This exercise was strange in a strange way, not at least because I realized the amount of the past, as well as the future, was hidden. Looking at the defects in the memory and its radical revenge, it was similar to staring through small holes in the landscape Very vast to take ever.
After Botuh, we did some group dance on rock music – if Red and David Boy. This was relaxing for us and carried us to move, after the stillness of Zazin. I found this embarrassing – I am a corrupt dancer – but I am more fun than I expected. Then there were “dreams”, which simply involve people who told their dreams. The idea was not the analysis, but to see if any common patterns appeared linking dreams. There was, as expected, concerns about loss and loss. This does not seem particularly useful for me.
At the end of the week, I found myself with one overwhelming question. What is the goal of Zain? It is not a matter of self -improvement. It is not about achieving anything. It is not about anxiety. It comes to sitting there. In one of his articles, Manu said, “The prominent weight practitioner is on his way to become a complete fool. Because it requires a fool to adhere to the practice of Darma – a practice that has no purpose and does not offer any profit.” The goal of Darma is to liberate the painful delusions of daily life. As a Chinese teacher, Lyn Che, noticed his job, “Overcoming ghosts from you.”
By the time when we said goodbye, with a lot of hug and honest farewell, it was confused about the practice of Zen. There is really no words to describe, and they are uncomfortable to the writer. But the experience was positive and western. The anxiety that I was suffering from before I attended was evaporated at the time I left.
I am far from liberation. But if you completely understand this strange practice that cannot be explained-and I have continued, with sincerity, and the performance of an hour of zezin every day-you may have woke up, and I no longer want to scream in researchers in the former. One can only bend with respect for Buddha and perpetuate himself for this slim hope.
Tim Lot and Mano Bazano offers a 15 -minute philosophy Timlott.substack.com
