WShould I do a hat? “Whether this is frank or implicit, this is the question that a new customer raises in the first treatment session.
Decisions are difficult. Anyone who has a awake thinking about a romantic dilemma, or a sudden financial crisis, knows how difficult it is to choose the course of work. This is understandable, given that in any scenario, we must deal with countless ideas and conflicting emotions-painful memories of the past, hope for the future, the expectations of family, friends and colleagues.
In the face of such complications, society and culture can be attracted to a “one size that suits everyone”: a shortcut to reduce uncertainty. In modern Western culture, there is a large -scale novel that we must simply “trust our instincts”, often in the service of originality, self -sympathy or personal empowerment.
On social media, trainers and influencers often destroy the value of staying in the individual’s feelings, especially when it comes to difficult relationship issues. The challenge of an emotional person’s experience is seen as a Cardinal’s sin. The theorists of the plot, who are fueled by wrong information and lack of confidence in institutions, have become more prevalent, which enhances doubts about issues ranging from the safety of the vaccine to steam paths in the sky. Self -declared cryptocurrency teachers rush that in -depth knowledge of financing is the corridor and that a healthy sense and healthy tolerance of risks is sufficient for your entry into 1 %.
“You trust your intestine”, “be yourself” or “less than that” are the likes that contain a lot of truth, while they are subject to the bad disastrous interpretation. After all, what distinguishes instinctive decisions from impulsive decisions? What if your instincts do not always serve your best interest?
These questions deserve to be taken seriously. The research constantly shows that some individuals are recorded in the nerves, which means that they suffer from negative emotions, such as anxiety, frequent and intense. Adoption studies data reveal that this characteristic has a strong genetic effect (explanation Almost 40 to 60 % From contrast in the population).
It is easy to imagine how high the sensitivity of threats in the past of our ancestors, as dangers such as predation, infection, or exposure to harmful weather events were fixed. The question is, in a more secure world in general, how useful is that now? While a healthy level of anxiety can save life in a dark alley, it is not useful when moving in a crowded supermarket or a person’s question at a date. Should people with higher levels of nervousness simply trust their anxiety, or deal with it in a more important way?
PAnalytical thinkers have long encouraged us to be skeptical of our conscious initial responses. Anna Freud presented the world to the extremist idea (but now commonly accepted) for the “defense mechanism”. This is the idea that our first response to the situation may have a useful preventive function in the past, but it is now a self -sabotage. For example, the person who grew up in an offensive house may have developed coercion to withdraw emotionally as a means of adaptation. Although this may be useful at the time, it may be the same thing that hinders them from developing satisfactory relationships.
We also learned the most recent forms of psychotherapy to be flexible in our responses. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which is affected by Zen, is designed to treat patients with severe emotional instability and frequent self -harm. DBT therapists encourage their patients to examine their emotional response to the situation, and they carefully think if this response is compatible with the facts, and if not the case, to act directly to those feelings.
Perhaps most people can remember the times when the behavior of opposing their instinctive feeling is the right thing to do. If we undoubtedly obey our instincts, we will never face challenges such as speaking in front of the audience, or trying a new sport, or putting ourselves to promote – experiences that often lead to growth. Psyche research He constantly explains that the exact exposure to something causes anxiety causes anxiety calm.
What these examples show is that our instinctive reactions are simply the best brain guessing about what to do at a certain moment, and that the quality of this guess can differ greatly. It is a biological miracle that the human brain can integrate a lot of information from its environment and produce guidance instincts that we depend on every day, however these instincts are easily distorted. The trauma that has not been resolved, or a limited experience in life or emotional maturity can determine water, and we head away from what is better for us.
By engaging in the process of introspection and experimentation, we can improve our senses over time, while realizing what may be the unhelpful luggage for the previous experience, and what may be useful additions to a clear picture of reality constantly. In this way, our bowel feelings can become indispensable tools instead of the mental noise that leads us to delusion. In my work with my client, I found that following this path can allow a person socially concerned to find friendship or romance, or enable the shy employee to start his own business.
As much as the weight scales require the calibration, as well as our minds. We can achieve this through adventure outside our comfort areas, testing our emotions against reality and sometimes opposing them, and searching for constant notes. When it comes to many complex problems in life, your confidence in the intestine – but only after you taught yourself what deserves confidence.
Dr. Alex Curemi psychologist , The psychotherapist in training and presenter Mind Podcast.
More reading
Emotional movement Written by Susan David (Penguin, 10.99 pounds)
Written causes of bad feelings Written by Randolph M Nessy (Penguin, 10.99 pounds)
Nigal and human growth Written by Karen Horn (WW Norton and Co, 15.99 pounds)
