Every time I complete a professional project, the dominant feelings I feel are comfortable – comfort because I did not fail, and that something I did “is good enough”.
But can I succeed or pride in my achievements? no. I just move to the next task. Waking up from the achievement is unnecessary, because I only did what is expected from me.
Does it matter if I do not feel proud of my achievements? Dr. Chu Hui Cha, a California -based clinical psychologist, believes that he is doing so. She says that you may end up in a place “Nothing is satisfied enough, and nothing you do really good, and you are always looking for a higher achievement, and raising the bet in terms of successes and achievements.” “It is a formula for chronic misery and dissatisfaction.”
On the contrary, the feeling of pride is related to your achievements The best mental healthand Self -respect And your belief in your ability To face challenges.
Experts asked why some of us were unable to celebrate our victory, and for practical determinants to help do so.
Why don’t I feel proud of my achievements?
Cha says that those who fear that failure may think that success in something is “testing who are and their ability.” Their subjective value is related to achievement, and failure can be painful.
They see that failure represents a threat, fear it and be severe in avoiding this at any cost. During the work process for their goal, “they may be white until they arrive there,” Cha says, because “getting there is very anxious or pressured.”
Briur says that achieving the goal means that they have failure, disgrace and rejection, so the feelings they suffer are comfort. “It may be difficult to separate from feeling satisfied or proud of this place of high pressure, anxiety and fear.”
It is likely to feel this way?
“This is a topic that comes a lot in treatment,” Chia says, especially for customers from families who expect a great achievement but not necessarily celebrated.
“There is definitely a family component, such as paternity, perfection, paternity, and critical motherhood,” says Briur. For example, “many Asian American women have originated in a family that conveyed that she needs success,” says Cha, as this was a way to avoid criticism.
Even if care providers, teachers, or trainers celebrate your accomplishments, Breure says that “this can turn into a feeling of pressure to continue production, behavior or achievement in the roads and the rate that others have learned to expect from you.” “If you do not worry” anxiety about shame and rejection ” – if you do not succeed after success, you may not be good enough to be loved by others.
People with unhealthy perfection are pushed to fulfill very high standards, and they feel the tightness of distress if they fail to meet them. “They have a great motive to avoid failure, disgrace and social rejection.”
Many perfect individuals treat Pryor and study reports next to the lack of experience in failure during their childhood and teenage teenager. When they eventually experience failure, it can “create a sense of confusion about their identity, and a wonder of their ability,” says Briur. Since then, they have been investing “strong energy and effort to avoid failure.”
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Cha adds that people with chronic anxiety may harmonize the fear of failure as well.
Dr. Amanda Meed, a New York -based clinical psychologist and works with adults with hyperactivity disorder in lack of attention, adds that many individuals with hyperactivity and attention disorder reduce the response to achievement. According to Mead, working on the task and facing challenges can cause guilt and shame among many individuals with hyperactivity and attention lack. They may also have an intense emotional reaction to rejection or failure, known as the rejection allergy defect. When they finally achieve the goal, they feel comfortable because “they did the unpleasant thing”, and “crossing it from the list brings a sense of knees, not the celebration.”
How do I feel proud of my achievements?
First, think about the reason for the feeling of success. Think about the reason for the achievement of importance and why you are afraid to fail.
Do you think you deserve something if you achieve something? “Our value does not come from what we do but just to be from us, from here,” chansels. If it is difficult to absorb this, it encourages exploring the roots of your beliefs about self -esteem with a processor.
Cha also suggests imagine its shape if it does not succeed, and ask yourself how many consequences that can be “reasonably alive.” This may help reduce risks and anxiety, she says. If the fear of failure greatly disrupts your enjoyment of life, it may be useful to ask for support from a mental health professional.
Second, he celebrated small steps while still working to achieve a greater goal, says Briur.
Dr. Amy Martinez, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, says it may be useful “tracking what was meaningful, not just successful”, during this process. Think about what you risk to carry out the task, what you learned and what you brought to the table.
Med says that these elements may be more accurate for those who suffer from hyperactivity disorder and lack of attention. Encourage yourself to get a specific: Celebrate that you started the project at 9 am instead of 10 am, or remember to have lunch while completing the task.
“There is a more cognitive component than something like happiness,” says Dr. Leah Dickens, Associate Professor of Psychology at Kenyon College at Ohio. “People suffer from happiness relatively and automatically when they test something good,” Dickens said, while pride in personal success, “involves a little self -thinking for his experience.”
Give yourself some stones, says Briur. These moments of meaning occur loudly. Write them on the notes after that and stick them to the wall or on your diary. Spoil yourself with Parista coffee or mid -week dinner with a friend.
“Research shows that there is a bilateral relationship between changing behavior and changing the situation,” says Briur. Changing your behavior, even if you do not believe in it, can lead to an internal shift. If there is a critical idea to celebrate a small, ethnic victory, note that without a referee, do so anyway, says Briur.
Prior to the celebration of small steps helps you to develop the “inner praise structure”. Martinez says: When you finally achieve the biggest goal, you return your mind to all these younger moments, “Martinez says. Celebrating the biggest goal will be less foreign because you already did it in several ways before the last minute of victory.
