Anna was overwhelmed by the administrative burden of her job. Self-compassion was the answer | Gill Straker and Jacqui Winship

A Central tension in psychotherapy is the interaction between acceptance and change. People usually search for treatment because they want to change some aspects of their lives. However, in essence, therapeutic change often begins to reach the acceptance that suffering, distress and defects are part of the human experience.

While this tension falls at the heart of all treatments, there are two types of treatment that explicitly targets this reaction.

Dialectical behavioral therapy knows the patients to accept themselves radically and their circumstances while seeking simultaneously to change meaningful.

In the treatment of acceptance and commitment (ACT), customers are encouraged to adopt their ideas and emotions instead of trying to ignore, change or eliminate them. ACT, which has an echo with wonderful and Buddhist philosophy, focuses on the paradox that by accepting our internal experiences that we gain freedom of adherence to actions that are in line with our values ​​and goals.

Patients sometimes feel anxious about the idea of ​​root acceptance, for fear that they mean that they “abandon” or point to the approval of difficult situations and feelings. However, recognition of reality does not mean negativity or resignation – we must actively move towards accepting our circumstances and ourselves, and abandoning judgment and resistance.

Our attempts to shift often hindered the inability to identify our reality and inevitable limits, and after we really accepted that we are able to seek possible changes. Thus, acceptance and change are not opposite, but supplementary forces.

Often in life, we throw our energy and focus on what we cannot change (for example the behavior of others) and we are not completely adhered to enough for what is in our control (for example, our options and responses). Sometimes it takes some time, discussion and thinking to reach this point of wisdom. Therapists must also take this wisdom in mind, find an accurate balance between verifying the distress of their patients, helping them sympathetic to moving towards acceptance, and finally the shift to focus on the change that may be within their control.

In the era of self -assistance literature, productivity and self -improvement, there is often unimaginable pressure to improve. Although seeking improvement may be valuable, the danger lies in its shyness and self -criticism when we fail to achieve some unacceptable criteria that do not correspond to our reality.

Self -sympathy is an important antidote to this.

Acceptance of reality as it is, including painful situations and uncomfortable feelings, is an inevitable struggle. This suffering is exacerbated when we move and judge our struggles. This self -critical novel is also inverse, which makes it unlikely to improve things if we respond to ourselves with kindness and understanding.

An example of this can be found in the case of Anna*, a 27 -year -old primary school teacher who came to my vision because she was fighting with stalling in the context of the existence Attention deficiency/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). When I got to know Anna, it became clear that she was a talented teacher, but she became easily mired in the administrative burden in her job. She was behind her in a mark and constantly lost the final dates to write reports.

With the end of each term approaching, and the administrative final appointments waved more effectively, Anna will find herself stuck in a course of goodwill, well -made plans, stall paralysis, her failure to stick to her plan, a lot of shame and self -guidance for her “ears” and “ineffectiveness”.

Anna anxiety will rise, and her mood will decrease because she imagines herself as incomplete failure. When Anna encouraged a more sympathetic approach to her struggles, she argued that this would only encourage “laziness” and need to be difficult to change her behavior.

She managed to challenge Anna’s beliefs in this regard by directing them in a direction research This indicates that self -sympathy reduces procrastination rather than encouraging it. Stress is the main cause of procrastination, which is basically a problem in self -regulation, and self -critical novels increase stress and lead to more procrastination. In contrast, self -sympathy was found to reduce stress, increase motivation, optimism, and self -esteem, which leads to more positive results.

Over time, Anna managed to accept the effect of hyperactivity disorder and lack of attention more easily without marking this as a defect in the character and treating herself with more self -sympathy when she found herself in the grip of procrastination. This allowed her to calm and organize her emotions, which in turn enabled her to adhere to the tasks that were struggling to complete.

She also allowed herself to seek help and support when she was tired, and this in turn made the tasks feel more manageable and a cycle. By committing to treatment, Anna was increasingly able to find a synergy between acceptance and change that reduced her personal suffering and increased her ability to deal with her job.

*Anna is an imaginary mixture to embody many similar cases We see. The processor is a fantastic mixture for both authors.